


Pray Titan, My Soul Shooketh

by MaxtotheMaxi



Series: Reckless Emotions O' Lilith [1]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Incest, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27194356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxtotheMaxi/pseuds/MaxtotheMaxi
Summary: Lilith tries to come to terms with the feelings inside her.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne/Lilith Clawthorne
Series: Reckless Emotions O' Lilith [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990639
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	Pray Titan, My Soul Shooketh

Lilith felt guilty. A selfish greedy guilt. A cold shiver of shame crawled down her spine. She shouldn’t be here in her sister’s room late at night, the moonlight leaks into the room. Edalyn’s bed rests empty still messy and wild as she is, the blankets are cold, the nest is missing its owner. Lilith rest herself at the head of the mattress, _Edalyn is over at her “friend’s” house tonight_ , she isn’t jealous. Edalyn can hang out with whoever she wishes to, Lilith isn’t jealous at all. At least not of _that._ That thought rings in her head like a church bell, she shouldn’t be jealous, if Edalyn chooses her _friends_ over her, so be it! She has been hanging around those no-good slackers as of late. After school, on the weekends, sometimes during school itself. Its like she is trying to avoid her. Her had strokes the forgotten pillow, her fingers catch on to a stray hair, fiery orange. Lilith plays with the hair, pulling and twisting it in her hand, snapping it when the tension becomes too great. She sits down on her sister’s chaotic bed, groaning as she threw herself dramatically into the cushions and frozen bedspreads, the scent of her sister’s appleblood shampoo filled her lungs and smothered her. Lilith felt guilty.

Staring up at the blank tiles of the ceiling she breathed deeply. She should be back in her room, studying or relaxing, not acting like a toddler who had their favorite toy taken away. Yet, here she was rolling around in her sister’s bed; wondering what she was doing at that sleepover. Edalyn was a bit of a troublemaker and very popular with certain other riffraff, not that “normal” people didn’t like her tho. Lilith could recognize that her sister was very pretty (attractive), her wild blazing orange hair, the lithe muscles from playing (cheating) at Grudgby, the hint of curves. Not only are Edalyn’s physical traits _fantastic_ to look at, her personality was a good match, the thing Lilith loved about her. Anyone who had half a brain could see all of that. _She should be here with me! Ugh!_ It has been only three hours since she left. Lilith can’t help but miss her. Normally she would be up with Edalyn cracking jokes and trying to study. Eventually she would give up trying and join in whatever game or practical joke Edalyn had planned. This is the first weekend where this entrenched and familiar routine was uprooted. Lilith wasn’t coping well.

Lilith knew she was wrong. Maybe she was cursed, maybe she was just put together incorrectly, maybe she was just _wrong._ Her parents buzzed around her as they got ready for work that weekend morning, leaving her to eat alone at the kitchen table, mindlessly munching on some breakfast oats. Alone. Edalyn is absent and won’t return until tomorrow afternoon. She had ravened this morning (very out of character of her that’s for sure) letting them know she was fine and was “having the time of her life!” _Ugh! I am in the bad place._ The strange peppiness of her statement made that ugly jealous monster rear its terrible head. Lilith’s mood had not improved from last night. Her parents gave her sympathetic smiles, feeling her disposition, they kissed her as they left and wished her a good morning. They didn’t understand, not really. Lilith loved her sister. Loved her a lot; _maybe too much._ The oats turned to ash in her mouth. _Ugh!_

She didn’t know when these confusing feelings started. She remembers the realization, the week of their birthdays, when Edalyn turned fourteen and she turned sixteen. After a day of joyous celebration and sugar filled shenanigans, they had crashed hard on the sofa, laughing and wheezing with glee. In that moment looking down at her sister resting her head in her lap, her face scrunched up in unadulterated mirth, she knew. Her fingers weaving through Edalyn’s bright hair, talking about nothing and everything, she knew. Her other hand rested in Edalyn’s open palm tickling her fingers. Lilith’s heart found a new excitement that wasn’t induced by sweet pastries. Her heart knew before her brain did. Her mind was full of fiery hair, golden eyes, a raucous laugh, the absolutely cute snort that would always follow. She couldn’t sleep that night. They often share a bed, this night was no different, they lay bundled together. It is warm and cozy. Lilith studies her younger sister’s face, puberty has taken hold, the last vestiges of prepubescence is fading and being replaced by a beautiful young lady. She didn’t realize that her fingers traced along her sister’s jawline. That was the beginning of the cold shame settling at the base of her spine. 

Months run by, the feelings only grow stronger, and wild fantasies haunt her dreams. Only made worse by Edalyn’s insistence to show as much physical affection as possible; hugs, cheek kisses, lingering touches, and late-night bed sharing. Edalyn doesn’t like to wear a lot of clothes when wondering about the house nor does she understand that showers are for _one person only!_ Lilith had many _interesting_ dreams after that. She knew she was wrong. But in a twisted perverted way made her feel _right!_ Late at night when she was alone, she would let her mind go wild, wondering what her sister felt like. The lips on her neck, their hands clasped together with great force, their bodies warm and heaving. Their legs would tangle together as they wrestled rubbing their sweaty naked bodies together, an electric friction! Edalyn would know how to touch her, where to nip at her, where to suck, where to kiss. The heat was intoxicating, enticing, driving her mad with erotic passion. Edalyn would stare down at her, admiration and lust behind those golden eyes, her hands making their way towards her stomach, to that hot pressure between her thighs. Her long slender fingers would tease those outer lips, barely a ghost of a touch, then without warning they would plunge deep into her core.

Those dreams ended right then, with Lilith moaning out her sister’s name, her sheets wet; embarrassing and incriminating. Thank the Titan she did her own laundry. The rush was often replaced with that cold shame. Edalyn would be back today, that was her only thought.

She had begun her day by going to the library, filled with almost every book imaginable, some not even of this dimension! A place she came to relax that wasn’t her bed or school, the scent of amassed books hung in the air as she entered the main lobby, _Ah what a smell!_ Today wasn’t just a day for relaxing, however; it was a day for getting ahead on some potion’s homework. She moved through the building with a graceful familiarity, locating the correct sections for the day’s study session, a hallow feeling rested in her heart. Normally, Edalyn would be right beside her, chatting a little too loud (as to upset anyone within earshot). She says she is “not really into any of that school bunk,” but Lilith knows the truth. Her sister, for all the bluster, is genius. She knows more about different types of magics, always on the lookout to find wilder spells and incantations, working outside of the strict coven system used today. Edalyn has a natural talent for magic, learning spells with great speed and finesse, she never really had to practice. That was a jealousy Lilith had in her heart, even after months of progress she could barely master what her sister could in hours! At least Edalyn never really teased her about it. Always there to help if she needed it, always so willing, it both infuriated and infatuated her. Those complex contradictory emotions often battled in the presence of her sister’s natural talent. 

Making sure that no one was looking Lilith opened the secret room behind the Romance section. A place where she could study outside of anyone’s gaze and be alone. Alone. How she missed Edalyn. She knew it was ridiculous, but her heart felt so heavy, like it was replaced with a handful of lead. A constant distraction from her studies. How was she supposed to get into the Emperor’s Coven if she doesn’t have an excellent school record? Edalyn might not have the most _stable_ school career, but her brilliance is sure to make up for it. Lilith needs to work twice, thrice as hard as Edalyn. She is proud to say that she is catching up! She _is_ making great progress. Edalyn might be a just rival but she is also a just teacher (a fact that does rattle her a tiny bit). A voice creeps into her mind: _I don’t want to be left behind_. It’s true. She doesn’t. She wants to be with her sister forever, their shared dream to serve the Emperor in the Emperor’s Coven, to have access to all of the knowledge in all of the Boiling Isles. It just a coincidence that she wants to marry her sister. Settling her mind, she cracks open _Potions: Then and Then_ and immerses herself into the world of potion brewing and strange atypical concoctions.

Lilith stood in front of her shared bathroom mirror, brushing her teeth, a nightly routine that she never strayed from often. She had been so absorbed in her studies that she didn’t notice the passing of time. When she came up from her study session the library was empty except for a few employees and late-night stragglers. The sky was darkening, the sun just below the horizon, she had been in there for the whole day! She gathered her things and rushed out the door to get home before the curfew her parents had set. She arrived with just a minute to spare, her Mother was perched by the window, looking to spot her before she reached the front door. Her Mother shook her head in amusement, as she ruffled her daughter’s hair.

“Almost late there, wasn’t it?” her Mother inquired with a smile.

“By just a minute, Mother,” Lilith laughed while she dumped her school bag and acquired library books by the sofa. “I got caught up in studying, didn’t keep track of the time.”

“My beautiful girl always out there, gaining that knowledge, no stopping.”

“Well, you know Edalyn and me want to make it into the Emperor’s Coven, so I need to work hard to be accepted,” Lilith smelled the delicious aroma of dinner emanating from the kitchen, “Is that Beelzebub’s Broth?”

Her mother just nodded from her position by the window.

Edalyn wasn’t home.

Lilith was shocked out of her stupefaction with the slamming of a door. Edalyn’s warm voice weaved throughout the house into her waiting ears. Her heart doubled in excitement and relief. She heard the tale-tell thumping of someone stomping up the stairs, the creaking open of a door, its click as it comes close. Lilith (with her toothbrush still in her mouth) stalked towards her sister’s oak door, knocked just three times, before opening the portal into the chaos of Edalyn’s room. She looked beautiful; the days have been a bit warm; she wore shorts that exposed her long-toned legs and a loose-fitting crop-top, Edalyn was mid unbuckling her bra from her back. Lilith ogled for a problematic amount of time, all of those question she had died in her throat at the sight of her exposed shoulders: how cruel these feelings are, they render Lilith into a fish-lipped idiot, a warmth settled in her stomach battling the frozen shame that dwelled there.

“Before you ask, I was hanging out with Fawn Woodblood, ya’know from the Bard track,” Eda explained, “We were at a festival near St. Craken. We saw _My Criminal_ _Reverent_ and _Ms. Juilliard’s Jampacked Jamboree_. A whole bunch of other bands played and the people! Tons of witches from all around the isles! It was a real hoot, we got sidetracked by a local magic man, and might have had a late start flying back to Bonesborough. Heh.”

Edalyn kept talking about her weekend at Fawn’s home as she changed in more comfortable night clothes; clothes that consisted of an extra-large loose-fitting _Babies to Boys_ band shirt; itself hiding nothing more than Edalyn’s red-striped panties. Lilith heard nothing her sister was saying, her eyes wondered her body, like a hunter eyeing up their prey. Her mouth was literally watering, drool threatened to spill out of her lips; she swallowed down the implicating liquid all with _those feelings._ Edalyn pranced over to her and casually pulled the toothbrush from her sister’s teeth.

“Hey! This is my toothbrush Lily!” she pushed it up to Lilith’s face, “This is the third time this week, Lily do you like the color. Because if you do, I will let you have the orange one next time, okay?”

Truth be told Lilith hadn’t realize she was using it. They share things so often, it almost seems like they don’t really own things themselves, but as a collective. Which is why it comes as a surprise that she is upset with sharing something as simple as a toothbrush. They sometimes shower together or share clothes, _there has be a line somewhere, I guess._

“No, its not the color. Honest mistake I made. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You, Ms. Hyper Focus wasn’t paying attention? As if!”

“Edalyn, I don’t want to fight. I missed you.”

That seemed to cool the fiery tension as a smile replaced the growing frown on Eda’s face. The physical affection was back, Eda’s arm wormed their way around Lilith’s back, an all-encompassing warmth sieged their bodies.

“Awe, I missed you too!” that jovial tone returned.

That familiar procedure begun again like it never left in the first place (all the while its absence was noticeable), finishing up in the washroom Lilith returned to Edalyn. Her sister was a night owl; she was wide awake and working on some school project (or a prank, that was anyone’s guess). She decided to skip right to the plotting.

“This potion makes anyone who drinks it tell the whole truth,” Eda said while shaking the bottle, “Miss Jenkinmeyer keeps her dentures in an unguarded dish on her desk, heheehe,” she giggled like a mad woman.

“Are you sure, with that much elf wax, it can rot bones down to the root,” Lilith pointed out.

“Yeah?” her sister raised an eyebrow, “and?”

“There is nothing I can say that will stop you is there?”

“Heh, nope!”

They spent the better half of that night wrestling up a truth potion that could rot a tooth faster then sugar-filled hard candies dipped in soda. Spending time with Edalyn was always a learning experience, an added bonus to just being around her! It was rather different laying in Edalyn’s bed when she was there. The rise and fall of her chest, the march of her heart as it beats, the soft snoring; absolute music to her ears. Just these few hours have reversed days of sour moods and depressed thoughts. Lilith could pretend that they were something more while her younger sister slept contently in her arms, her face in the crook of her neck, her light breath tickling her lower jaw. Why a sister and not a girlfriend? Or a _wife?_ A blush colored the tips of her ears. She doesn’t want anyone else. No one could compare, no one knows her like she does, no one would understand. She realized that this could end in only one way, a way she didn’t want to think about, or even entertain. She longed to feel those rosy lips on hers.

A terrible thought slithered into her mind; _A kiss wouldn’t hurt would it? She won’t remember… It is right for the taking!_

Her eyes found those lips slightly agape, saliva glistening in the low light, unprotected, perfect for an unprovoked attack. Lilith’s self-control was impeccable, so why was it failing her now? Maybe all the pent-up anxiety, jealousy, and lust had mixed into a whirlwind of recklessness! They were already pressed together, Eda’s arms tangled around them, Lilith could feel her breasts through the nightshirt. Her heart felt like it was going to rip out of her ribs. She shifted her legs and could feel the wetness at her core as it moistened her underwear.

Her right hand stroked her sister’s untamed hair, gently resting at the base of her skull, with a little push their lips would meet. Apprehension locked her muscles in place, fear flooded her lungs, _I can’t do this!_ She is a coward. Can’t tell her how she feels. Can’t take what she wants either! A terrible coward! Bound for misery and loneliness. She would have to watch as the love of her life finds someone else! Someone who can make her happy. Someone who isn’t her own sister. Even with her here in her arm, this wasn’t going to last, this was a fleeting moment! How many times has she resolved to confessing? Only to hide. In those late dark hours of the night alone in her bed. Think about all of the horrible thing she wants Edalyn to do to her. The rationalizing, _oh it will fade with time! Nothing to worry about!_ Only they haven’t faded with time, no, they have grown strong and solid! Like the foundation to a monument of her own sick fantasies. 

She was crying.

Her tears bled into the pillow she rested on.

They fell upon her sleeping features, like rain.

_Pray Titan, My Soul Shooketh!_

_Pray Titan, My Soul Shooketh._

**Author's Note:**

> It may be bad or it may be good, comment to let me know. Thanks for reading!


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